Mixed blessing, reason, and comfort.

1. It’s just the proposal stage, and I’m already starting to burn out. My shoulders are a tense, painfully knotted mess, a low-grade headache is my constant companion, and my face resembles a connect-the-dots game. No exercise, little sleep, stress-eating and self-imposed isolation further heighten my misery this past year. This day made me realize that focusing all of my heart, soul, mind and strength on the thesis is a recipe for burnout.

The straw that almost broke me is an INC still appearing in my transcript one year after I’ve submitted the needed requirements. After a year of not being able to reach my professor for that subject, I finally pray an ultimatum: “Lord, if I am not able to meet that teacher today, I quit.”

Lo and behold, while I was about to leave the college, my professor suddenly appeared at the entrance. And promised to look into my records this week. I am too deflated to feel elated. Apparently, God is not letting me off the hook that easily.

2. A one-hour interlude in the afternoon reminds me why I chose to pursue an MA in Education in the first place. There is joy in learning and in helping others to do so, indeed.

3. I feel better after a steaming bowl of miso soup and fried fish fillet with mixed rice for dinner.

4. I need a hug and a massage.