Find me here
Speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That’s leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

The first stanza pretty much sums up June to October 2009 for me. After the certainty of a year of full time studies, I found myself floundering again. I let myself over commit and be distracted from my main goal. I found myself straying into the gray areas that were increasingly getting more difficult to leave. I began to depend on myself more and on God less. It was no surprise, therefore, that God kept silent and taught me several hard lessons this past semester.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose…you’re everything.

Two months into the first semester, I realized that I was unwittingly neck-deep in quicksand. At first I tried to free myself, then I asked others to help me, to no avail. Eventually, I turned to the first person I should have cried out to in the first place. After an agonizing wait, He answered. It wasn’t a delay, but perfect timing.

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won’t let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

I just came from a leadership camp for college students in Isabela, with the theme “Genuine Impact, Jesus Outstanding Example: The rise of a new breed of leaders.” Camps have always been my querencia, my favorite place. Not just because I get to travel to new places, interact with sixty plus new humans, get regular delicious meals (haha) and gaze at the heavenlies to my heart’s content. I love camps because they are encounters with God; they are my mountaintop experiences. And He clearly spoke to me again this past week.

He reminded me of what I was here for. He assured me that he will use both my strengths and weaknesses for his purpose. He let me experience disappointment, interruptions, frustration and not being in control. He gave me an opportunity to serve and at the same time accept help. He embraced me through their hugs and gave me happiness through their laughter. His Word came alive for me and my students during the Bible Study Workshop. He made a storm move away from the campsite and showed me a daily visual aid for Psalm 8. He let me witness the miracle of young people coming to know Him intimately. He affirmed my heart for missions and the youth. He confirmed that I did not have to settle for what is merely good or better; the best is worth the wait.

I am back in my usual place, back to the challenges that seemed disheartening before. Now, though, I can sing this with conviction:

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you’re all I want, You’re all I need
You’re everything,everything
You’re all I want your all I need
You’re everything, everything.
You’re all I want you’re all I need.
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want you’re all I need, you’re everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

(Everything by Lifehouse)