What might have been

Somewhere, lost in the wind
I’m watching you
Sunlight touching your hair
And I remember
Somehow, we said that we would never stray
But somehow we lost our way
Promises too often spoken
Are easily broken apart

I’m ready this time
I know that I’m no longer undecided
Don’t wanna be
A fool wondering what might have been

I first paid close attention to this song last year, on a road trip to Tagaytay with former officemates. It stuck in my head because it coincided with an important career decision I made that time. And realizing that choosing an option means that I have to let go of other choices. They were equally good options, yet they were just not for me.

Trace of forever lingering
Drawing me closer to you
A new beginning
Now I know
There is no doubt I understand
Just how fragile love can be
I can’t forget
Your mem’ry found me
Now I know where I belong

I’m ready this time
I know that I’m no longer undecided
Don’t wanna be a fool wondering
What might have been

Last weekend, I heard this song in Tagaytay again. Once more, it coincided with several major decisions I had to make. Maturity for me means realizing that having the best means not having it all. Slowly and surely, I’m discerning my sweet spot and developing self control. I also decided not to go into situations where I’m not needed or wanted. I am practicing the art of keeping my relationships with an open hand, letting go of unnecessary ones to make room for the new.The verse “The old has gone, the new has come!” inspires me.

Through every day, into the night
With only love to guide us
I’m ready to go, coz I’ve got to know
What might have been
Let the lovin’ decide, I can’t run, I can’t hide

I want you to know
My heart will show that I’m ready this time
I know that I’m no longer undecided
Don’t wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been

I’ve searched everywhere, and nothing compares
When we’ve got love to guide us
I’m ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been
I’m wondering what might have been
We’re gonna find what might have been
Oh I wanna know what might have been.

This is actually a happy time for me: another chapter is unfolding right before my eyes! I really love new beginnings! Yet in the middle of this answered prayer, I find myself looking back at the what-might-have-beens. With a tinge of longing and regret, sometimes. But more than that, I reflect on the choices I’ve made with a sense of gratitude. I know now why I was not allowed to walk down those alternate paths. And I am excited to see where this road less taken will lead to.

So now I walk with eyes focused on the prize ahead. What might have beens no longer distract me. I’m back on track.