Lidocaine gen, I am a relational being. I love being in the company of people, talking endlessly, sharing stories, laughing for hours and eating together. I work well with teams and thrive in group work.  Long term isolation is my idea of hell.

But of course, it's not all fun and games. Being in a community means that you run the risk of getting hurt. Being intimate means that you let people get close enough to know the real you and see beyond the social, pretty and made-up masks we all hide behind, lidocaine gen. Being accountable means that you let people rebuke you and point out that while everything is permissible, not all of them is beneficial. Solubility of lidocaine, And vice versa.

There are times I am sorely tempted to dump my cellphones, delete my social network accounts and go hide under a rock somewhere. Being in relationships is messy, unpredictable and confusing. Because people are messy, unpredictable and confusing.

Yet all this is part of being alive.

So I sing:

BEING ALIVE

Someone to hold you too close
Someone to hurt you too deep
Someone to sit in your chair
And ruin your sleep
And make you aware of being alive

Someone to need you too much
Someone to know you too well
Someone to pull you up short
And put you through hell
And give you support for being alive - being alive
Make me alive, make me confused
Mock me with praise, let me be used
Vary my days, but alone is alone, lidocaine clock method, not alive.

Somebody hold me too close
Somebody force me to care
Somebody make me come through
I'll always be there
As frightened as you of being alive
Being alive, being alive

Someone you have to let in
Someone whose feelings you spare
Someone who, like it or not
Will want you to share a little, a lot of being alive
Make me alive, make me confused
Mock me with praise, let me be used
Vary my days, but alone is alone, not alive

Somebody crowd me with love
Somebody force me to care
Somebody make me come through
I'll always be there
As frightened as you to help us survive
Being alive, being alive,
Being alive, Lidocaine solution, being alive.

(from the musical The Company, Lyrics and Music by Stephen Sondheim)

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5 Comments »

1. 

   agree =)

   Comment by charms — August 26, 2009 @ 1:42 pm

2. 

   Na-articulate mo puso ko Tarits…Ahay!

   Comment by Em-Em — August 28, 2009 @ 9:13 am

3. 

   masayang masakit. pero mas lamang pa rin ang saya. =)

   Comment by Rita — August 28, 2009 @ 4:59 pm

4. 

   Hey, this reminds me, when Malvs gets back in March, we should all go out for dinner or something. Like one where no one has to go somewhere or is just coming off shift, mkay?

   Need people to argue and debate with. People here think “nosebleed” trumps everything.

   Comment by Dennis — September 25, 2009 @ 10:46 pm

5. 

   @dennis:
   yeah! surely! i need people to argue and debate with who do not get offended when my voice level goes up, and do not view intellectual differences as personal ones. right? he he he. saturday dinner probly is best. if its malvs, i want videoke too!

   Comment by Rita — September 26, 2009 @ 2:07 am

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