Being Alive

I am a relational being. I love being in the company of people, talking endlessly, sharing stories, laughing for hours and eating together. I work well with teams and thrive in group work.  Long term isolation is my idea of hell.

But of course, it’s not all fun and games. Being in a community means that you run the risk of getting hurt. Being intimate means that you let people get close enough to know the real you and see beyond the social, pretty and made-up masks we all hide behind. Being accountable means that you let people rebuke you and point out that while everything is permissible, not all of them is beneficial. And vice versa.

There are times I am sorely tempted to dump my cellphones, delete my social network accounts and go hide under a rock somewhere. Being in relationships is messy, unpredictable and confusing. Because people are messy, unpredictable and confusing.

Yet all this is part of being alive.

So I sing:

BEING ALIVE

Someone to hold you too close
Someone to hurt you too deep
Someone to sit in your chair
And ruin your sleep
And make you aware of being alive

Someone to need you too much
Someone to know you too well
Someone to pull you up short
And put you through hell
And give you support for being alive – being alive
Make me alive, make me confused
Mock me with praise, let me be used
Vary my days, but alone is alone, not alive.

Somebody hold me too close
Somebody force me to care
Somebody make me come through
I’ll always be there
As frightened as you of being alive
Being alive, being alive

Someone you have to let in
Someone whose feelings you spare
Someone who, like it or not
Will want you to share a little, a lot of being alive
Make me alive, make me confused
Mock me with praise, let me be used
Vary my days, but alone is alone, not alive

Somebody crowd me with love
Somebody force me to care
Somebody make me come through
I’ll always be there
As frightened as you to help us survive
Being alive, being alive,
Being alive, being alive.

(from the musical The Company, Lyrics and Music by Stephen Sondheim)