Sometimes I believe all the lies
So I can do the things I should despise
And every day I am swayed
By whatever is on my mind

I hear it all depends on my faith
So I’m feeling precarious
The only problem I have with these mysteries
Is they’re so mysterious

And like a consumer I’ve been thinking
If I could just get a bit more
More than my 15 minutes of faith,
Then I’d be secure

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

I’ve begged you for some proof
For my Thomas eyes to see
A slithering staff, a leprous hand
And lions resting lazily

A glimpse of your back-side glory
And this soaked altar going ablaze
But you know I’ve seen so much
I explained it away

My faith is like shifting sand
Changed by every wave
My faith is like shifting sand
So I stand on grace

Waters rose as my doubts reigned
My sand-castle faith, it slipped away
Found myself standing on your grace
It’d been there all the time

by Caedmon’s Call

Despite my lack of patience, stubbornness, laziness, selfishness, lahat na ata ng -ness na negative… Even though I doubt and question and argue with God, He still keeps His promises.

Thankfully, I’m not going through another wilderness or valley stage in my spiritual life right now. On the contrary, this has been a breakthrough year for me when it comes to my relationship with God. How?

I went back to the basics:

1. Regular quiet time… got into the habit again because of a one month camp last summer where daily devotions is part of the schedule. It helps that I’m no longer on night shift so my schedule is semi-sane again. And yeah, I love doing QT at the metal box in the UP Diliman Sunken Garden.

2. Spritual Retreat… 3x already for this year. One in Bacolod during KC 08, another in Augsut with my Philcoa small group, and two weeks ago at Silang, Cavite with my churchmates. Because of these times alone with God, I have a better idea of why I’m where I am right now.

3. Accountability people… I am truly grateful for how the Lord brought my accountability triad into my life. And of course, for the numerous friends who walk ahead and alongside me. Commitment is scary but necessary.

4. Discipleship. Finally, I have two consistent discpleship groups. One where I am mentored and the other one where I do the discipling. Scary-exciting-fun-heavy-funny-tearful-hyper moments in every small group/D3 group meeting.

5. Prayer and worship. Last but definitely not the least, these two are the main reason why I’m experiencing breakthrough right now.

In the shifting sands of my crazy schedule, crazier emotions, and topsy-turvy circumstances, these spiritual disciplines are my “solid foundations” which keep me from being swept away.

Buti na lang may grace ano?