Recent Comments
Thinking is hard
14th September 2008
I’ve been calling you to go to the city
I’ve been watching you every day
Now I’m paying for a one way ticket
for a ship that sails the opposite way
And you laugh and you cry
and you live and you die
cause you don’t really know who you are
all alone in this world
orphan boy, orphan girl
cause you don’t really know who you are
Run baby run
my hands release you
baby run baby run
just as fast as you can
run till your legs lead your heart to the real truth
you’re my daughter, my son,
so run baby run baby run
Hear me laughing as you run from your calling
see me crying in the storms that rage
one way or another, you will be going
to obey is such an easier way
(Run Baby Run by Jason Upton)
I’m not doing a lot of physical running… all of my running has been in my head. Running away from the here and now, from opportunities and possibilities, from reality, above all, from my calling. I’ve said yes with my lips and with my mind, but not with my heart and spirit.
Thoughts keep me awake and occupy my mind…bakit ko pinapahirapan ang sarili ko? to work or not to work? apply or not to apply? what’s next? stay or go? what to teach? who will be my students? whom should i trust? what to continue and what to finish? why am is such a masochist?…ad nausem. In short, I’m thinking about anything and everything but what I’m supposed to do be doing at the moment. Great.
I KNOW this is where I am supposed to be and this is what I am supposed to do.
Yet still I run…
I have been built for… more than what the senses can perceive. To love and be loved. =) To be salt and light. To teach that there is more to life than this. To shine like the stars. To proclaim the day of freedom and favor. to defend the hope I hold onto. I have been created for eternity.
Lost dreams. Being a doctor, laywer or journalist… really not what I was built for after all. I have lost dreams that are not meant to be. And all those other things that do not have God in the center, I have let go of gladly.
One month to go before sembreak and so-called vacation. A little after that and I’m off to Ifugao. And then back to living at Makati for the second semester. For good? Not sure yet.
I wonder when I’ll get tired of running?
No Comments »
No comments yet.
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL