Entries from September 2008 ↓

I’ve been calling you to go to the city
I’ve been watching you every day
Now I’m paying for a one way ticket
for a ship that sails the opposite way

And you laugh and you cry
and you live and you die
cause you don’t really know who you are
all alone in this world
orphan boy, orphan girl
cause you don’t really know who you are

Run baby run
my hands release you
baby run baby run
just as fast as you can
run till your legs lead your heart to the real truth
you’re my daughter, my son,
so run baby run baby run

Hear me laughing as you run from your calling
see me crying in the storms that rage
one way or another, you will be going
to obey is such an easier way

(Run Baby Run by Jason Upton)

I’m not doing a lot of physical running… all of my running has been in my head. Running away from the here and now, from opportunities and possibilities, from reality, above all, from my calling. I’ve said yes with my lips and with my mind, but not with my heart and spirit.

Thoughts keep me awake and occupy my mind…bakit ko pinapahirapan ang sarili ko? to work or not to work? apply or not to apply? what’s next? stay or go? what to teach? who will be my students? whom should i trust? what to continue and what to finish? why am is such a masochist?…ad nausem. In short, I’m thinking about anything and everything but what I’m supposed to do be doing at the moment. Great.

I KNOW this is where I am supposed to be and this is what I am supposed to do.

Yet still I run…

I have been built for… more than what the senses can perceive. To love and be loved. =) To be salt and light. To teach that there is more to life than this. To shine like the stars. To proclaim the day of freedom and favor. to defend the hope I hold onto. I have been created for eternity.

Lost dreams. Being a doctor, laywer or journalist… really not what I was built for after all. I have lost dreams that are not meant to be. And all those other things that do not have God in the center, I have let go of gladly.

One month to go before sembreak and so-called vacation. A little after that and I’m off to Ifugao. And then back to living at Makati for the second semester. For good? Not sure yet.

I wonder when I’ll get tired of running?

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

…a learner acquires L2. In particular the errors that learners make…
Understanding Second Language Acquisition (MA reading handout)

Yes I am pathetic.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.

sarap.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Tootsie starring Dustin Hoffman sa HBO.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is.

around 1am?

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

1:22 am na?!

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

mp3 playing “better than life” by hillsongs

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

I ate dinner with my parents at yellowcab… all spicy stuff. yum!

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

ym and multiply.

9. What are you wearing?

glasses. slippers. white headband. clothes

10. Did you dream last night?

i don’t remember kulang ata ako sa zinc?

11. When did you last laugh?

sa tuesday D3 group.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

pakiusap bawal tambay, bawal porn (kase computer shop ito)

13. Seen anything weird lately?

me studying

14. What do you think of this quiz?

swak wala ako maisip iblog e

15. What is the last film you saw?

Tootsie nga

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

babayaran ko na muna mga dapat bayaran…

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know.

i was antisocial as a child

18. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

Make Roy normal

19. Do you like to dance?

yes. but it does not like me

20. George Bush:

C ba talaga siya?

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

Rachel or Ruth. or some very Filipino sounding name like karangalan, dalisay or marilag

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

bahala na tatay niya

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

yes. tentmaker
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?

welcome home

25. 4 people you would like to see do this meme in their journal:
chuza

carmi

charms

joni

Oh, wait, September is here…. time flies! Gotta roll off my bed…SPLAT. Rats. September came with a pile of deadlines… Now I understand why I’m supposed to take grad school fulltime.

• 1 demoteaching
• 3 reports
• 6 papers
• 12 more early am classes
• 20+ more readings
• etc etc etc

 

Despite the hecticness, remembering these August happenings can make me smile and take away the stress:

• Little monster aka my 3-month old niece talking cooing to her mobile stuffed elephant and rabbit, to thin air, to the grandparents, to the door, to the singing Gloworm, and very rarely to me when she demands to be carried. Vowels only. 

 

• Whenever I hear I’m yours by Jason Miraz.

 

• May pulis sa ilalim ng tulay… on our way to Antipolo, we had to change jeeps at Cogeo (COG-yo yan ha, hindi Co-GE-yo). When we alighted from the cubao fx, the heavens opened up and we had to scamper for cover. Five second after we reached the shelter of a footbridge, a a policeman with a footlong armallite approached us. And proceeded to chat up (flirt) with one of my companions. Bwahahaha!!!

 

• The mice and Hark the herald of Cinderella… mababaw ang sense of humor ko e.

 

• A Ministop moment last Saturday when I was surrounded by tall, strapping, handsome young men appearing out of thin air. This is funny because just a few minutes before, I was wondering, “Lord, where have all the good(looking) men gone?”

 

• the aroma of brewed coffee filling up my pad again.

 

• During my first D3 meeting, Ate Charm’s rendition of the theme of the pink panther as we imagined Nicodemus creeping through the bushes for a clandestine meeting with Jesus.

 

• Seeing my professor’s sundo (her husband) after class, every Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. She said that they met in school; he was her college professor, hehehe. Kiligin ba? And nothing is as sweet as seeing a middle aged married couple still holding hands. =)