Look Up

Tomorrow, I will be busy with what I do best: uprooting myself and my meager bundle of belongings into a new “home” in Quezon City, near UP. SInce I am an NPA (no permanent address), home is where I spend the most time sleeping. That is now a solo room just big enough to fit a bed, a cabinet, my computer table, and a bookshelf. Walk three steps in any direction and you’ll hit a wall, a piece of furniture, or the door. Home sweet home.

Hasta la vista! With this one last July and another one by end of January, KC 2K3 reunions bookend my stay in the Makati condo.

The other day, I procastinated my weekend away. Talked on the phone for 1 hour, slept for 2, sang with the Vesper Choir for 3, read a pocketbook that was supposed to be for a class requirement which did not push through for 4, and spent another 5 hours for a play that was nothing spectacular, and spent the total of those hours asleep.
 
Today, I am writing a blog, calculating the days and counting the cost. I will also go to sleep then go to class and sleep again. I relaize that comparing myself with others is a sure way to get depressed and discontented. And try not to think too much, it hurts already.

Yesterday, I did the laundry, discovered an alternate but longer route to school, and went to class. And late in the afternoon, I was blindsided by an invitation. While I have been evading it for 3 years, recent events have given me a change of heart. For the first time, I am seriously thinking about accepting. My heart says yes but my mind is filled with questions, hesitation, and a sense of inadequacy. Drastic changes are good, since they lessen my  pride and self-dependency a lot. I now have 3 months to think, pray, and consider.

One my friends is silently laughing right now at my dilemma; another just gave me a hug from Canada. On my part, in an earlier post I wrote that I was scared about 2008. To my surprise, that fear is being replaced with excitement.

 I do not want to decide this time; I want to obey.

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1Cor2:9