I’m having anniversary blues
12 months. 365 days. And I’m still here. Amazing. Career record breaker ito.
My mind is groping for a song, poem, words, anything profound to express my feelings at this moment. It is searching in vain.
I’m distracting myself with a lot of what-if questions, far off thoughts as I get voicemails on the phone, and a deep sigh every few seconds.
Wait. My tuneless humming finally produced a song… from Points of Grace. What’s echoing in my head right now is the version sung by an a capella choir, Zoe.
For All You’ve Done
Clint Lagerberg
Oh cleanser of the mess I’ve made
Upon the hill our places trade
Stretched on a cross Your body crushed
By human hands You formed from dust
How wonderful Your mercy is
How awesome are Your ways
I come, I come
To worship You
For all You’ve done
Oh cleanser of the mess I’ve made
Your boundless love for me portrayed
With patience for my learning curve
By holding back what I deserve…
The nagging voice in my head has become a painful shout. Lord, what now? Please be patient with my being such a scaredy-cat. I feel like Jonah in the belly of that huge fish; it’s dark, smelly and nauseous. And I’m not even sure what I’m running away from.
2008 is almost here, and I’m more afraid than excited. Don’t want my last post for 2007 to be such a downer though. So i’ll think happy thoughts:
Breakfast with them in a few hours.
Going home to Tarlac for the 2nd half of my vacation.
Closing a big sale on Monday.
Getting VL and SL benefits by next week.
And … being loved.
Okay, I’m happy now. =)