Look Up

Last Sunday was not spent in my usual chores-church-choir-comatose routine.

First, we had to perform the Welcome to Our World cantata again during the morning service, with a smaller stage and a much smaller cast. Managed to pull it off despite being absent for the Saturday rehearsal, waking up late, and committing a few blunders.

Then had an impromptu coffee date and technical writing consultation with Rahrah at Rob Midtown. Introduced her to the joys of waffle with caramel and whipped cream,  exchanged unrequited love/crush stories, and in somehow helped do a reaction paper on an indie film I have not watched.

Then came Vesper services; during rehearsal, the choir had a vote and chose to sing “Simbang Gabi” by Lucio San Pedro for the anthem. The song starts with this line: “Ikalabing anim ng Disyembre…” Timely, ain’t it?

But wait, there is more! After a hurried dinner by the church door,  3 of us skipped choir practice and went gallivanting. Around 20 members of the joint choir crammed into 3 cars/vans and went to the Center for Arts in Timog. Direk Mark had invited us to sing excerpts from the cantata at their weekly Gospel Jam. I was very glad I came… a group called the Cov’nant Singers performed several acapela pieces. Wow! I love listening to choirs, acapela singing groups, etc and theirs was quite good. Ended up buying their CD and music book. Also, it didn’t hurt that some of the guys not only sang beautifully but looked cute too.

To end an unusual Sunday, I then met with my IVPM prayer triad: Carmi and Darl. Spent several hours planning our lives, since we been sharing our experiences of being stressed, confused and floundering the past year. We recognized our common lack of direction and that we all had varying degrees of the Messiah complex. Basically, we all treid to do everything and thus spread ourselves too thinly.

Also, God created me for a purpose. I believe there is a reason why I like to do certain things and have a certain set of skills and talents. While I may be asked to do things I dislike or feel incompetent in for the Kingdom, He has designed me with a specific calling in mind. I call it a sweet spot, or:

“A sweet spot is a place, often numerical as opposed to physical, where a combination of factors suggest a particularly suitable solution.”

How did we determine ours? Partly, by drawing out we considered important, or our life values.

Here are the guide questions we used:
1. What are the top (past) experiences in your life?
2. What do you value now?
3. How do you see yourself — years from now?

We wrote each response on a slip of paper. My answers were scattered, numerous, and covered half the living room floor. Then we grouped similar or duplicate ideas to just 3-5 categories.  I ended up with 5 values.

In no particular order, they are:
1. Strategic ministry - I value my involvement in church and campus ministry, especially with the youth, musicians and profesionals. May opt to branch out into teaching too.
2. Meaningful relationships - Camaraderie is important to me and is a major factor in deciding whether I stay or go.
3. Dynamic learning - I learn to teach, and I teach to learn. I love reading, discussions, debates, etc.
4. Financial freedom - I’m still thinking if the better word for this is stewardship, to show God’s ownership and sovereignty.
5. Artistic Expression - I am exhibitionist and I crave the spotlight… joke. Well, at least I have a healthy dose of self-confidence and a dormant sense of shame. Thus I can sing, act, write blogs, declaim, etc., if not with spectacular talent, then at least with some modicum of skill.

We then listed the structures we had right now. That meant all the organizations, institutions, groups, etc that we are currently involved in. Mine were all over the solar system. We discarded the ones that did not fit into the values. Then we drew up a weekly schedule. When two committments were in conflict, we chose to keep the ones where we would have more impact. A lot of my current activties have bitten the dust, while a couple that I wanted to let go suddenly got a new lease on life.

Of course, the caveat here is that people change and so their values and schedule. We’ll have to reassess the lot after a quarter, and make small tweaks as needed. But it would be effort well spent.

Whenever we have our bimonthly meetings in 2008, we have to hold each other accountable for:
1. Have you added/removed anything from your schedule? Why?
2. How is your QT / devotions?
3. How is your heart? (love life discussions are inevitable so might as well make it an objective)

Other values that are important to me but did not appear in the exercise:
1. Health - this really is taken for granted…. until you lose it
2. Time - my attention span is miniscule and tying me to a long term routine is akin to murder.  So I need flexibility time-wise.
3. Rest and recreation - actually, it did appear as one entry: sleep. My friends reminded me that I NEED free time to do these, and that they should also be part of my schedule, not just a happy surprise.

My schedule now looks sane, amazing!  And my heart is now at peace… at least until March. I just realized that I do not have one single Christmas ornament in my pad or workstation. Where has my Christmas spirit gone? Well, it’s right where it is supposed to be: in my heart.