And so this is Christmas

9:30pm, Tuesday
This song played in the cab in sync with my random, wandering thoughts:

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun

What have I done? A lot; I’ve covered this year’s hecticness in a previous post, When I remember 2007. I am amazed though at how time flies.  A year ago today, my batchmates and I were in training. Only 5 of us are left here at the company after 12 months.  In addition, this December, I have attended 2 Christmas parties, given only 2 exchange gifts, sang in a cantata, worn a long gown, saved money, spent more money, posed for some crazy pictures, dated my sibling, got 50% of my sales goal, cut several class, joined a prayer triad, praying to establish a new cellgroup, lost weight, skipped a wedding, read more books and asked for vacation leave. I have also lost some of my sanity, gotten rebuked, misplaced my passion, sought joy in the wrong places, regained my quiet time, and guarded my heart.
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

In two weeks I can finally be with my family for more than a few hours. I have not been with them for months already, we are scattered all over Luzon since this summer. My parents are retired, my youngest brother is in the province and the older one is staying in a boardinghouse. And I have been alone for the past half year.
 

 And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong

That last line is so true. Sadly every year I find myself growing more and more apathetic to other people’s problems and to the suffering I see around me. I have always found it difficult to put myself in another person’s shoes or intuit other people’s thoughts. Caring is an effort. And yeah, I am ashamed to admit that I am still a basically selfish person. Lord, grant me a heart for the lost…
 

 And so happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let’s stop all the fight

In stories and in real life, there are several kinds of conflict. We fight against nature, with each other and we are in conflict with ourselves.  2007 had wars, bombs, murders, coups and terrorist threats galore. Add the weird weather and the economic mess that has been going on for decades. And we constantly fight with ourselves, the good in each one warring with the bad, with numerous conflicting needs, want and desires demanding to be met. Complex humans are. And we can’t stop any of these conflicts… at least, not on our own.
 

 A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

So what will happen in 2008? For myself, I’ll reserve that for another post because I still don’t know. I have learned the hard way about the folly of making my own plans and not depending on God, of doing what I think was needed instead of relying on His calling. Whatever He has in store for me, I’m sure it’s for the best. No fears, only hope.

Told you my thoughts were all over the place. For me though, this is Christmas:

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

Merry Christmas to all.